About Rama

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Ch 1 - The Dinner Ch 2 - Mickey Ch 3 - Elizabeth Ch 4 - The Poster Ch 5 - Self-Discovery Outing Ch 6 - Shawn’s Boyfriend Ch 7 - Taking The Step Ch 8 - My First Student Meeting Ch 9 - Don’t Trash Ch 10 Meditation & the Wreck Ch 11 In The Desert Ch 12 After The Desert Ch 13 The Ebell Theater Ch 14 So, You Want To Be A Teacher? Ch 15 The Visit Ch 16 The Golden Oldies Ch 17 The Correction Ch 18 The Gift Ch 19 Disneyland Ch 20 The Letter Ch 21 Starting Out Ch 22 First Night As A Teacher Ch 23 The Thank You Card Ch 24 Priorities Ch 25 Corrected Again Ch 26 Returning Home Ch 27 The Call Ch 28 On The Road To New York Ch 29 Christmas At Golden’s Bridge Ch 30 Jumpy Ch 31 The Initiation Ch 32 Time To Leave Ch 33 Keeping It Clean Ch 34 Looking Back Epilogue   Visit Shiva's web site   About Rama

Chapter 34 - Looking Back

The stories in this book cannot come close to relating how it really was.  Rama has the ability to focus his attention on anything and explore it fully.

There were times when he would lead us into the exploration of the various traditional pathways to Enlightenment.  Each major pathway was examined and experienced by everyone through our association with him.  It really didn't seem to matter whether it was Yoga, Zen, Tibetan Mysticism, the teachings of Don Juan as related by Carlos Castaneda, or computer science, Rama became the master of whatever he focused on and he had the awesome ability to take us with him.  It was quite a wild ride that caused each one of us to draw deep from within and become extremely flexible in our approach to life. 

Throughout it all, Rama gave of himself in ways that are hard to imagine.  His students were stubborn, cantankerous and sometimes downright angry as he pushed, coaxed and even drove us into Enlightenment.  I never once questioned his love and concern for us.  I knew, first hand, of his generosity and compassion.  He was, however, a very tough teacher.  Looking back, I can fully understand and appreciate his methods.

In the beginning, I had romantic ideas about being a part of a wonderful spiritual community comprised of loving, supportive, peaceful individuals.  This simplistic dream did not last long in the reality of Enlightenment.  Rama's alchemical vessel of spiritual transformation was an incredibly fast path that at times seemed very volatile.

Each one of us interfaced with this intense energy and drew it through our structures of life and created our own reality of just who Rama was, as well as the nature of the Enlightenment process.  As this hot wind of Dharma blasted through us, we had to either let go of our old selves and become the Light, or struggle to reconcile the Light of Eternity with our limited views.  This process caused us to constantly change and redefine ourselves.  

Because the structures of our beings varied from one to the other, we each saw Rama and this whole experience completely differently.  I am convinced that none of us ever really came close to the expansive awareness, knowledge, and extraordinary fullness that is Rama. 

I suppose that the same could be said of our view of life or of each other.  As Rama said, "Everyone and everything in life is your teacher.  Don't trash your teacher."

I have tried to approach all of Life as my Teacher.  As a result, I have reviewed the memories of my life.  I chose to take on the awesome task of removing the emotionally charged judgments that have been restricting my seeing.  I will continue this process for the rest of my life or until I obtain an unobstructed view of Eternity interplaying with itself in perfection and harmony. 

Thanks to Rama, I am able to see this perfect interplay in ways that had eluded me up until our association.

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