The Fast Path - Shiva's experiences studying with Rama, Dr Frederick Lenz

Chapter 12 - After The Desert

It was a Sunday morning. I had slept in due to my late arrival home from being in the desert with Rama. I ambled into the kitchen to fix myself some breakfast. I was very sleepy.

I opened the door to the refrigerator and suddenly my stomach turned and I found myself wide awake! I noticed that I had this uneasy, kind of queasy feeling every time I thought about eating anything that was meat or had meat in it.

It took me a couple of minutes of confusion before it all set in.

"Oh shit! I'm a vegetarian!" I exclaimed. This was a calamity! I loved meat. I had always made fun of vegetarians. My refrigerator was stocked with ham, roast beef, steaks, hamburger, bacon, sausage, stews and other fine meat-laden food. I had never wanted to give up meat. I didn't want to now!

I racked my brain and tried to think of what Rama had talked about in the desert. I was sure that he hadn't mentioned anything about being a vegetarian. I was confused and yet I knew this new development was a direct result of being in the desert with him.

As the day wore on, I resigned myself to this new role. I called over a couple of my friends and gave them most of the food in my refrigerator. They were happy as clams to get all of this great food.

It was so strange; being around meat didn't bother me or make me feel funny. I didn't mind being around other people eating meat. In fact, I envied them. I was only affected when I entertained the thought of eating meat myself. I was a forced vegetarian!

The strangeness didn't end with the discovery of being a vegetarian. Rama wasn't done with me yet!

That afternoon I thought it would be nice to try out some of the restaurants that featured vegetarian food. I phoned one of my girlfriends, Anne. She sounded strange on the phone. As we talked she said that she felt she couldn't continue in our relationship. She needed "space."

I then proceeded to call up my other girlfriends. Since my divorce, I had been enjoying a very active social life.

To my amazement, all my girlfriends were either moving out of town, moving back in with their old boyfriends or simply unavailable.

I finally sat my little black book down and meditated for a while. I wanted to see what was going on.

Then it hit me! I was not only a vegetarian, but I was also celibate!

For the next six months I ate no meat, and to put it bluntly, couldn't score in a whorehouse. I learned to endure these forced changes and tried to observe my life. I perceived how being a vegetarian and celibate allowed me to retain more power and control over my thoughts and focus. All in all I must say that it was a very effective change in my life.

After six months I found myself in the desert with Rama again.

Between all the walking and the displays of miracles, during a rare quiet time, I realized inwardly that I now had a choice. The forced changes Rama had instituted were being lifted. I knew that I could remain a vegetarian or not. I also realized that I could remain celibate if I wanted to.

I considered the effects that being a vegetarian had on my life and I must say that I found them positive. I wasn't as creative as I used to be when it came to cooking, but I had managed to come up with some pretty good combinations of vegetarian cuisine. I felt great and had lost a little unwanted weight. So I decided to remain vegetarian.

I then looked at being celibate. I felt that sexuality was one of the issues I came into this life to work out. So I let go of my celibacy.

Rama never mentioned anything about being a vegetarian, nor did he breech the subject of sexuality during this desert trip. But I recognized that this doorway that had been closed months before was now open to me if I chose.

It was really amazing! The next day after the desert trip, an old girlfriend returned from living up in northern California and gave me a call.

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