About Rama

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Chapter 22- First Night As A Teacher

I walked into the meditation hall.

I had started out as the minister in Grants Pass, Oregon only two weeks before.  Interest in meditation seemed to be high.  It was only last Sunday that I had announced that I would be starting a class in meditation on Tuesday night. 

Now here they were.  Over fifty people!  The room was absolutely packed.  I had no idea so many would show up! 

As I sat down, I was a little overwhelmed.  I looked at the souls in front of me through extended awareness.  I knew that I had my work cut out for me.  I would have to draw deeply from my experiences with Rama.  I was grateful that he had empowered me to handle this task.

I turned on the music and the world dissolved into golden light.

Over the next two years I began to see why Rama had asked me to leave in the way he did.  I realized that if Rama had pulled me aside and said, "Tony, there is a large group of students I know of in Grants Pass that need a teacher and I am going to send you," my ego would have been out of control.  I would have constantly bothered him with every little problem and developed a horrible, elitist attitude.  As it was, I had to figure it all out for myself and either fly or fall.  I could not talk to him or any of his students.  It is hard to develop an elitist attitude when you have been exiled.  The result of being on my own was a tremendous push forward.

The following three years I taught meditation seminars throughout California, Oregon and Idaho.  This experience caused me to draw from deep within while performing this wonderful activity.  I can't say that I didn't make mistakes and stumble occasionally, but all in all it was the most powerful assignment I could have undertaken.

Now I began to understand why I was put in exile.

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