The Fast Path - Shiva's experiences studying with Rama, Dr Frederick Lenz

Chapter 29 - Christmas At Golden's Bridge

It was Christmas Eve. I had to work that day as a telephone solicitor. It was really stupid. Nobody buys recycled laser printer cartridges on Christmas Eve! But my boss, being the modern-day Scrooge that he was, refused to give me the day off. After a frustrating day of getting answering machines and switchboards, I was finally headed home.

I had only recently moved to New York to continue my study with Rama. This was my first Christmas away from family and friends. I was forty-three and it was quite an adventure for a man who had never been east of Dallas.

I was staying with a group of fellow students. We shared a large house in Golden's Bridge (about an hour's train ride north of New York City). It was true country living. The house was located about seven miles back into the woods. The place was very quiet and secluded.

This particular time, being Christmas Eve, I was looking forward to getting home and having some hot tea with my friends around the fire. Why, there might even be a party! I also wanted to phone my family. My parents had traveled from New Mexico to California in order to be with my sons and brothers for the holidays. A phone call to them would be nice.

I got off the train at Golden's Bridge (a good distance from the house). The ground was covered with about three inches of powdery snow. It was incredibly silent and beautiful, just like a Christmas card.

I located a phone and called the house. No one answered, just a cold, impersonal voice on the machine asking that I leave a message.

I waited and continued to call every fifteen minutes. The machine again. I had no car, and not enough money for a cab home. It was eight miles from the station to the house. Around seven o'clock the snow had stopped falling and the temperature began to drop. I continued to phone. It was now eight o'clock and I had been at the station for over two hours.

Strangely, I did not feel depressed or upset. I sang a few Christmas carols and made some snowballs, and kept on calling.

Finally I walked to a nearby supermarket and called from there. At nine o'clock they closed and I had to wait outside.

I could not imagine what had happened to all my roommates. But I refused to allow myself to be depressed.

I played in the snow, made a small snowman and sang some more.

There was a time when I thought about all the people around me who were enjoying Christmas. I thought about my family and how I loved them.

Still, strange as it seems, I was not depressed or frustrated. I simply refused to allow myself to indulge in those emotional states. I kept busy building snowmen and playing soccer in the snow with an old box for a ball.

At eleven thirty on Christmas Eve, my roommate showed up. He was most apologetic. Everyone had gone to different parties and they each thought I had been at another party.

I smiled as I climbed into his warm car. I was tired, but I was not upset. I said, "These things happen."

At midnight, I sat in my warm room with my tea, and I thought of an Enlightened Teacher whose birthday we were celebrating. I smiled and felt pretty darn lucky to be in New York studying with another Enlightened Teacher in this life.

Throughout this whole episode I realized that circumstances do not have to dictate whether or not one is happy or frustrated. Throughout the evening I steadfastly refused to give into judgment. When I found myself becoming self indulgent I immediately started doing some activity that took my mind off of my circumstances. By not judging, I held tight control over my emotions.

I remembered what I had taught my students years before that while emotions add color and definition to our experience of life, they are like wild horses in that they must be tamed and controlled if we want to be in charge of our life.

If you enter a corral filled with nervous and excited wild horses, they will try to bite, kick or even kill you. These horses, like your emotions, must be controlled. There is no need to kill or get rid of them. They are valuable. Once they have been tamed and brought under control, they can become a powerful, constructive force in your life.

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