Anthology: A Collection of Flowers Home
Would You Love Me If . . .
When I was seven years old, my family lived in a small mountain village in New Mexico. At night I used to go upstairs and jump into my feather bed, pull the covers up over my head and listen to the whispering wind as it blew through the Ponderosa Pines.
I would then start to pray. God would come to visit with me. He really didn't talk in a audible voice, but yet I could hear the thoughts inside my heart.
One night God asked me, "Tony, do you love me?"
"God, you know that I do," I replied.
"Would you love me if no one ever believed what you taught about me?" He asked.
My heart sank. I wanted more than anything to grow up and teach about God. "Yes God, I would still love you." I replied
"Would you love me if you could perform no miracles and your prayers were never answered?" He asked.
I swallowed hard and said, "Yes."
"Would you love me if you never felt my presence again in this life?" He asked.
I started crying. Just the thought of not feeling the presence of God for the rest of this lifetime was terrible. It meant that the rest of this life would be a Hell world for me. After a while I said, "Yes, I would not stop loving you."
I felt my experience of the sure knowledge of Eternity in all things was lost to most people. And I had hoped that I could do something about that. But if God wanted me to live a life of the living dead, then what kind of love would it be if I said no?
A peace settled over me. God said, "Good."
"Would You Love Me If.. "Commentary:
Can true love have conditions?
What does it mean to really "Love God"?
At this young age I came to realize what it meant loving God. When confronted with my own ego ambitions of being a great teacher, I realized the depth of my love for God. Even if no one understood or believed how I felt or what I said, I did not need their understanding or approval.. I loved God enough to go through this life without feeling that wonderful presence.
Through this, I also realized what hell was. It was a life without the awareness of God.
I love that little boy.